Of Stock Cars and Presidents
by Aleatoire
Summary: Oneshot. Edward and Alice - and sometimes Rose - are famous race car drivers, winning every single race they enter. Is it all too good to be true?


**Hahaha wow this occurred to me a long time ago… What if the Cullens were race car drivers?? Silly little oneshot…**

"Be careful, Edward," My beautiful wife, Bella whispered to me as she leaned in to my stock car to kiss me. Even after all these years, her scent was still intoxicating to me – although, having granted her immortality, her human scent and the erratic hammering of her heart had been lost, and that had surprisingly been difficult to give up.

"I will be," I promised in response to her worried eyes. Every time Alice and I raced, and even Rosalie (though she wasn't racing today), Bella got worried – but not for the reasons a human would.

Bella worried that if there was to be an accident involving our cars becoming horribly mangled we would walk away unscathed; Bella worried that if an accident occurred where a human lost blood our whole family would attack, thus revealing ourselves; Bella worried that our more than adept reflexes would look very ostentatious.

She was right to worry, but I was reaching two hundred now, and my control had almost surpassed Carlisle's.

_Ready Edward?_ Alice's silent question came from the purple car beside me, and I kissed Bella swiftly, then turned my head a mere fraction to meet my sister's eye and nodded once.

Time to go. I put on my helmet and gloves – our cars were sponsored by NASA, so Alice and I had jumped at the chance to get specially tinted windows – then called Rosalie over. On days she didn't race, she was my 'pit-crew advisor' and she always double checked the car before go time.

In the garage she usually ran around it at a breakneck pace, using her adept eye and fast hands to find things needing to be fixed or tweaked. Here in the public eye she was a hundred times slower.

"You're good," she said aloud when she was finished for my human pit crew's benefit. I thanked her by nodding in her direction, not caring what my pit crew thought – only Rosalie would be able to see the gesture through these windows. Finally I got my car set to drive to the starting point, and came to idle beside Alice, who was there already – Emmett had most likely cheated a bit with regards to his speed during his inspection of her car. Of course we started at the front.

"Good luck Edward!" Bella's lilting voice sang into my ear by means of my earpiece – not quite the same as hearing her thoughts in my head, but close enough. I didn't think I had turned the device on though. She must've when she'd leaned in to kiss me.

I smiled and replied, "Thank you love. I'll do fine. Now, no more distracting me please, you know what you do to my concentration."

It was true. My above average reflexes meant next to nothing when I had Bella in my ear all the time.

_I think 'I'll do fine' is an understatement, _Alice informed me just as the flag-man raised the checkered flag. In the distant I heard the commentator's voice, but paid it no mind.

I switched my mic over so it would transmit to Alice's and asked, "And why, pray tell, is it an understatement?"

The flag-man lowered his flag and we all of us were off, the roaring of engines thunderous in my ears as I waited for my sister's reply.

_Because,_ Alice started up again once we'd gotten securely – but not too far – ahead of everyone, _Look at us! This isn't 'just fine'!_

"Regretting becoming a race car driver?" I asked wryly; I knew what she would say though, it was always the same argument, every single race. I didn't even have to listen to the other driver's thoughts anymore…

_Edward, we can't just walk away from this, we're famous now! In four years we'll all still look exactly the same, and these humans aren't stupid!_

I actually snorted. If Mike Newton was less than intelligent, than these Southerners were something else entirely – just as my family was. I laughed at the irony of it all. **(A/N If you live in the South of the States, I'm sorry if I offended you, Edward is being very stereotypical here!!) **

_Why are you laughing?_ "Alice, Carlisle has it all planned out, he's President now, he can do anything!" I responded, instantly reassured by Carlisle's spot in the American political world.

_Yeah, I suppose you're right…_ she agreed, and the rest of the race was spent in near silence – I tried to tune everything else out by listening to Debussy. As always, we stayed safely in front of everyone else. Sometimes we let someone get ahead, but we always resumed our place at the top.

Here came the hard part; it was the last lap, and we needed to decide who would win: Me or Alice. We had tried to tie it before, but they'd reviewed taped endlessly, finally giving Alice the victory. Could they honestly have not seen the exact precision of our cars crossing the line together, in sync? Apparently not.

"whose turn is it this time?" I asked wearily.

_Well, Rose won last time, and before that… I think you did. So it's my turn now!_

"Go ahead," I urged her, and saw her hoisting the large gold cup over her head in one of her visions.

_Thanks._

There was a maddening din of cheering as Alice pulled over the line first, my orange car zooming in as a close second. I caught brief snippets of the commentator saying she'd won once again, and I smiled at her as we opened our doors at the same time. Our family – wearing hats, scarves, gloves and sweaters – crowded around, giving hugs and kisses to us both. In a moment of insanity, Alice and I threw our helmets off to kiss our partner's exultantly, and the cheering around us halted to an immediate stop.

"Edward… Your skin…" Bella stared up at me in horror, and I saw my glittering self in her eyes.

"Amazing!" I heard the commentator gasp, "Alice and Edward Cullen are… sparkling! My oh my, this is a sight to see folks!" Suddenly, our two faces were on the Jumbotron, surrounded by the dumbstruck faces of our family. Not even the President could pull us out of this one…

"Edward! _EDWARD!_" Bella shook me, and I opened my eyes hurriedly. Her face was right in front of mine, and no one was sparkling. Had I fainted? We couldn't faint…

I blinked twice slowly – meditation was like sleep for me – recalling that what I'd just seen was a 'dream' of sorts.

"What an absurd idea," I muttered to myself about the preposterous nature of my 'dream.' "Now, Bella love, what did you want?"

"It's time to go to the race track!" she informed me eagerly.

"Racetrack?" My dream had been truth?

"Oh Edward, did you forget we were going to watch the horse races with Alice and Jasper today? I don't know if this meditation thing is good for your health."

I sighed in relief. It had been just a 'dream,' a fabrication of my mind. "Well, we'd best be off then!" I made to stand up, but what Bella said next had me frozen in my seat.

"Oh yeah, Carlisle – you know, your father, the _President_ – called, and he wants to go hunting soon," Bella told me as she held out her hand for me to take.

"The President?" Now I was really confused; I stared at her hand as if I didn't know why it was there.

"Edward, honestly!" Bella dropped her hand; she looked irritated and… worried? "The President of the Vampires for Humanity Board! Really, what did you think he was, President of the United States or something?"

"No, of course that would never work!" I shook my head adamantly, more to clear it than to prove my point.

I was going crazy.


End file.
